


Baby, I loved you first

by destielscherrrypie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Broken Promises, Established Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Sad, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:54:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielscherrrypie/pseuds/destielscherrrypie
Summary: Castiel and Dean used to be in love. It was one of the most epic thing, the both of them ever felt. Everyone always thought they would end up married. But commitment and tying the knot, freaked Dean so much he decides to leave, he leaves a small note for Castiel and he is gone. Now almost a decade later, he finds out that Castile has a fiance and the decideds he needs to see him before Castiles says the final 'i do' in a month.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Baby, I loved you first

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So this is insparied by the song loved you first by one direction. I hope you enjoy it! I'm super sorry for any mistakes but english isn't my first langugage! :)  
> I hope you enjoy this!  
> updates: every few days

Soft music coming from the radio and lightsfrom the other cars on the street were the only things keeping Dean awake at the moment. He has been travelling for nearly 18 hours straight but he had to. As soon as he heared the news, he packed his things and started driving. He left his bussines to be run by Garth, an old friend. He was travelling from California all the way back to Lawrence. A place he used to call home. He hasn't been there sence 2010. Not that he didn't want to go, he wanted to so bad but couldn't. That place helds too many memorios and he felt as though they might crush him. But when Sam called him last night and casually told him that Cas has a fiance. He couldn't stop thinking about it.

He tried sleeping and thinking about Cassie. His new girlfriend, but he knew the feelings he had for her weren't real. They were just a ghost of the feelings he used to have for a different Cas. But she is pretty and she is there for him whenever he needs someone. How could he not resist? But that didn't help, so he packed his bags and next thing he knew he was ona road trip to his home. His phone ringed and he looked it. The name Mom flashed across the screen and he answered a small smile playing on his lips.

_"Hi, Mom“_ he said, slowing the car a little so that he doesn't crash while talking on the phone. He knew that it wasn't smart but he couldn't stop now than he was so close.

_"Why do I hear from Sam that you are coming home? Couldn't you call me and tell me?“_

_„Sorry, mom… It was sort of hastly leave I wasn't thinking it trough“_ he answered honestly. He knew that he had to go back, he had to see him one last time before he gets married. He needed to see those big blue eyes and feels those hands on his body.

_"So you heard the news“_ his mom whispered and the small smile fell from his face replaced by a small frown. Just the thought of that ring on Castiel's hand made his stomach turn upside down. He didn't like thinking about it.

_"Yeah, Sam told me“_

_"Thats why you are coming? That is really stupid, he finally moved on“_ his mother quietly yelled at him. _"Dean you weren't here, you didn't see him but we did. And you are my son and I love you but please…“_ he knew what he did, and how much he hurted the man the he loves more than his own life. What he did was childlish, leaving like that. But he was scared, he was young and scared.

_"I know mom… I know“_ he honestly didn't know what to say to her. He didn't see much of his family after he left, he just felt like they all remainded him too much of him. The only person he did see was Sam, when Sam was going to university they were roommates. But then Sam lost Jess – the person he loved the most in the world, beside his family – and he lost himself. He left university and went back home to find himself again. After that he saw him a couple of times but not much. It was the same with his mom. She would sometimes come to visit but not for long. They all had their own lives and he kind of separated himself from them. But now he was ready to come home, he needed to face all the demons he left behind so many years ago. It was time, he wasn't a stupid kid anymore. " _But I need to see him before he says that final 'i do' I just need to. I know you probably don't understand but I just need it“_ his left hand started turning white from how hard he was holding the wheel.

_"I understand honey, I just don't want to happen what happend ten years ago you were both so hurt“_ Dean closed his eyes for a second remembering that day. He thought about it everyday, it never faded from his mind. He started drinking because of it, well he always drunk a little bit to much. But he realised that if he drank himself to oblivion he wouldn't think about it. So for the majority of nights he would be drunk. It was the only way for his head to stop reliving that day so he could fall asleep.

_"I know, don't worry I'll be home soon“_

_"How soon?“_

_"Two maybe three hours“_

_"Okay, I'll probably be asleep but you know where everything is“_

_"Yes, goodnight mom, love you“_

_"Love you too, sweetie“_ with that he ended the call and threw the phone on the sit beside him.

His mind started going trough every single memory he had with Cas. There were a lot, they knew eachother sence they were 15. But there is one memory, stuck in his mind. It was when they were 18 and Dean finally decided to be bold enough and confess his love for Cas even if he didn't feel the same, it would be okay at least he wouldn't have to lie about it again.

_July 13 2003_

_he sun has started to drop and Dean was sitting beside Cas looking at the beautiful sunset. Well Cas was looking at it, Deans eyes were fixated on Cas. The way his eyes light up because he saw pretty colors. Cas lookd at him after a few moments, confusion written all over his face._

_"Something on my face?“_

_"No why?“ Dean replied looking at him trough his sunglasses. They were sitting on top a roof in some abandoned house. It was their place. Everynight they would come here and hang out. Dean usually worked until 7 at Bobby garage so he was free after that. He would come here and wait for Cas. Cas was working until 8:30 at the local cat cafe. After that he would come straight here and the two of them would spend all night togetoher. Sometimes they would drink, sometimes they would bring someone else or their whole friend group would come. But today they were alone. It was the anniversery, they met od july 13 2000. They have officaly known eachother for 3 years and they had to celebrate that on their own. „_

_You have been staring at me a lot, so i figured“ he shruged and then reached for the bottle of vodka that was beside him. He took a chug from it handing it to Dean. He took it gladly taking another shot. This was his 3rd one of the night, he needed a little bit of confidence boost to do what he decided that he would do a few days before._

_"Listen, Cas I gotta tell you something“ he took of his glasses, putting them beside him. He looked at Cas seriously. ž_

_"O my god... are you dying?“_

_"No, what the fuck Cas?“_

_"I don't know you are the one being all quiet and now you put on your serious face and everytime you do that face someone dies“ Dean rolls his eyes at him._

_"No one is dying okay, but I do have to tell you something“_

_"Okay“ Cas completly turned to him, sitting cross legged in front of him looking him in the eyes. Dean almost melted right there and there. This guy could make him into tottaly different person just by looking at him. He never knew he had that kind of power over Dean._

_"Listen what I am about to tell you, it doesn't have to change anything but I have to tell you…“ he took a deep breath._

_"Here goes nothing…. I love you Cas“_

After that they talked. A lot. Few days later he was holding Castiel's hand everywhere he went. He called him his boyfriend and showed him off everywhere. When univeristy happended they had a lot of problems. Deans jelousy and Castiels obliviousness to other people flirting resulted in a lot of fights. In the end they were able to talk it out. The best part about their relantionship was that they could grow as people. They changed so much but in a good way. Dean learned how to control his anger and to talk things before lashing out and Castiel learned to be more free and open to the world. But in the end Deans mind and fear drove him to do the last thing he ever imagined to do but he did it. Now he had to deal with the consequences like a grown person.

He arrived in Lawrence at 3 am, he parked the car in front of the house and got out of it. He grabbed the bag from the backseat and locked the car. He walked up to the house and unlocked it. Turning on the lights, made him see that the house was almost the same. The only thing that changed were the pictures. There used to be pictures where Dean and Sam were kids or teengers those picture were still there, some of them. Some were replaced by pictures where Sam and Dean are older, one of them even has Castiel in it. It was back in’09, when Sam was going away to univeristy. They all took a picture together, he couldn't bealive mom still had. He dropped the bag carefully to the floor and took the picture in his hand, looking at their faces. So happy so full of hope.

"I knew you were gonna look at that picture“ he heard a voice behind him, which made him jump slighlty almost dropping the picture on the floor. He turned around and saw his brother looking at him with a stupid grin. "Scared you didn't I?“

"Bitch“ Dean muttered setting the picture in its place.

"Jerk“ Sam said hugging him. Dean hugged him back thigtly. They stood like that for a couple of moments. Truth to be told he missed Sam and he missed this place. Not that he would ever tell him. that 

"Didn't know you still lived with mom“ Dean said once they stopped hugging, he crossed the room going into the kitchen.

"I don't but sence I knew you were coming I decided to come to surpise you“ Dean nodded opening the fridge, the grabbed the pie almost instantly. He putted it on the counter and started eating. „Do you want me to leave you two alone?“ Dean just flipped him off and continued to eat.

"Where do you live though?“

"In town“ Sam said getting himself some cereal. "With Gabe" he whispered but Dean still heard him. At first he didn't know how to respond, he didn't even know Sam knew Gabe. He barely knew Gabe. I mean he knew who he was and he talked to him a few time but neither of them had any kind of deeper connection the short man.

"Gabe as in Castiels older brother Gabe?“ Sam just nodded.

"How did that happen?“

"Well after Jess, I moved here and I lived with mom. But soon you know I didn't want to anymore I was almost 30. One day i was in the town, ran into Cas and Gabe…We talked and we kept talking so he asked me to move in and I said yes“

"So you two are like a couple or what?“

"Yeah“

"Thanks for telling me before, really appricate that“ Dean said moving the pie away.

"I'm sorry but I honestly didn't know how to tell you and you never wanted to talk about Cas or his family memebers so I kept my mouth shut. And it's not like we talked everyday anyway“ he said putting the dishes into the sink helping himself to some orange juice from the frigde.

"It's fine, I'm sorry I know I was kind of distant after you moved back here“

"Yeah“ they both just smiled at eachother. Dean cleaned after himself while Sam drank the juice.

"You know where your room is?“

"Yes, I know havent been home in a long time but I don't have amnesia idiot“

"Night, jerk“

"Night, bitch“

Dean stayed in the kithchen a little bit more. But eventually he went upstairs, he opended the door of his room. He turned on the lights looking around it. It looked practicly the same. AC/DC and Led zepellin posters where still all over the walls. The table infront of the window still had all his drawing papers on them. He looked around the room, looking at stuff remembering his younger days. He went to the bag and looked for something to sleep in. He took a quick shower and went back into the room. He looked outside the window, it was almost 5 am and he could see the sky starting to get lighter. He threw one look at the house opposite to his. The lights were out so he couldn't see much but his stomach just tighned just by looking at the house. He waved his hand at nobody and crashed into the bed. Setting his alarm so that he doesn't sleep for the whole day. It was the first night of many where he fell asleep a little easier.


End file.
